There’s sun today in Seattle. Seems like the blue sky has brought smiles to the faces of the general populace. And inwardly I know that we’re all thinking.. Maybe we’re done with winter. I say that with a slightly apprehensive intake of breath as if just mentioning it will bring on a blizzard tomorrow. But, no…let’s just keep our eyes on the prize. Spring.

It’s been a rocky month for me personally. Life delivered a few punches and now I am left with a general sense of unease and apprehension. What’s next? I don’t know. But my astrologer friend, Rick, says we got a few more days before the cosmos rights itself and settles down. Great…I’m keeping my head down and eyes open.

I know many people are experiencing various forms of upset and chaos right now. It’s uncomfortable and exhausting and downright annoying. But if I could put this in perspective using tarot it would be to look to the Tower card where lightning bolts strike randomly and destroy all that we have come to count on. Yes, it does feel like that. But the real importance of this experience comes after. Out of the rubble we can see exactly who we are, where we are and what we believe about life.

My partner, Nicole and I were talking the other day about our daughter, Louisa (who is almost 2) and how we really want her to grow up with a solid sense of self and sufficiency. And as we talked, the aspect of disappointment came up. Disappointment is a part of life certainly and I’m sure Louisa will experience her share of it. I can only hope that when she feels let down by life that she will choose to get up and go on. Not because we want her to succeed but because she sees that there is something stronger, lighter, and brighter within her. Disappointment reveals our true character on a very basic level. Do we lie down and cry? Do we scream and stomp and call it unfair? Or do we find the little flicker of grace in the situation and move forward?  And I can say, with all honesty, that I have done the first two many times and never been the better for it. Now I try to see the place where I can take a breath and move on.

So, in a few days, when the stars realign I’ll be happy enough to take a breath, smile up at the sky (whatever color it is) and send out a wish for peace in the middle of chaos, grace in the middle of disappointment and one simple courageous step forward.

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